Everyday Kinda Crazy

This day had all the makings of a flat out craptastic day. I mean to tell you ... I was braced and ready by 6:30am.

I'm late. I keep forgetting my lunch. I'm overtired. I'm gearing up for yet another battle in the seemingly unending war my coworker likes to wage. It's not looking good. And this is all before I've even stepped in the shower. It was also one of those days that I'd be haulin my cookies all over central Texas and perpetually behind schedule.

I had to race to my office, dodge bullets from previously mentioned coworker, meet a client, do an intake, pack it in, hurtle myself an hour away to another office and catch up on paperwork from yesterday since all systems went down. I'm training lovely new case worker who has the dubious honor of being subjected to my particular flavor of madness for the next 6 months of her life (my condolences and apologies many times over) and my pile just keeps growing. Im pathetically behind. There's not enough stickies or pens, fingers or thumbs, coffee or snacks, ... There's CERTAINLY not enough of me to save the world today. Not to mention, I CLEARLY woke up on the wrong side of my broomstick.

I'm wretched and cranky and my brains are beginning to boil by 11:30am.

Craptastic. That is all. The end.

I hit the road back to town and have to be at the gym and I'm NOT in the mood to squeeze myself into spandex and flail around in the name of healthfulness. In fact, I have absolutely no desire to do anything healthy. I want to bathe in a vat of queso and watch really bad tv and hide in my bed.

I also have to write my blog. Crap! I never have anything to say when I think too hard about tryin to say it! Crap Crap! And I'm behind on that too considering I made a commitment to do this.

Well, 3/4 ain't bad .... Ugh. Ok, maybe 1/2 ...

I review this insane day that was horrible and I plan to rant and rave about how miserable I am ... When I just stop and realize that, when I play it all back in my head, it just sounds silly. And I sound silly for even thinking such silliness.

This is just an everyday kinda crazy. No more. No less.

I show up to the gym in a slightly less frenzied state than I started in, tucked like a lumpy mess of mashed potatoes into my spandex, and it turns into a ridiculously good time. A really really good time, to be exact. A few endorphins, some trash talkin, some laughter and about 1000 squats later I'm allllll good.

I'm all shined up with a big cheesy grin.

Turns out I'm just fine with an everyday kinda crazy.
And, trust me, I know crazy.
Bat shit, outta your skull, crayon eatin, grade A insanity kinda crazy.
I've been there. Like, six pack without the plastic thingy to keep it all together crazy.

Precisely 358 days ago I was waking up in some kind of new breed of hell in which I'd hit rock bottom and asked for a damn shovel.

I remind myself of that often.

Almost a year later I find my brains rising to a slow boil on a Wednesday over completely manageable mundane everyday life things ... And I get the privilege to live to tell about it. I get the privilege of laughing at myself and my silliness. I get to go to the gym in my spandex (Ha! Take that, sucka!!).

Don't get it twisted .. I'm not inviting a repeat to greet me at 6:30am tomorrow. But if it does I'll be just fine. Pretty damn good, actually.

Truth be told, I really wouldn't know what to do if there wasn't even just the slightest bit of crazy around. It's a touch of wild n crazy that makes me, well, .... Me. And I like that part of me.

Today.