Your Happy Makes Me Happy

I'm preoccupied with happiness often these days. I love being in it, letting it wash all over me and stepping back to really take a look at it. I never want its awesomeness to be lost on me. I never want to take it for granted. Not anymore.

These days I live in happy and visit misery. It was not so many moons ago that the opposite was true.

As happens so often in my life my definitions and concepts change and evolve with time, space, challenge, temperance and (utter) failure. The trick, for me, is being with it, embracing the change and moving around in it until it fits. Happiness is no exception.

It's true that I have had many many happy moments in my life. Again, if I'm truly honest, I have to say that "happy" has looked different from time to time in my life. While it has meant joy and celebration it has also been on the darker side of me. Unfortunately I've been happy in selfish sort of ways. I've sometimes been happy at another's expense. I've found joy in spite. I've found joy in danger and recklessness. I'm not necessarily proud of those things but they have been real in my life. I've had "happy" that was tainted with jealousy and "happy" that had a giant "but" attached. I'm pretty sure that I have even been happy AT people.

I evolve. I come around.
My words are changing along with my thoughts and perceptions.
My experiences are changing.

It's been recently that I noticed a remarkable change in my experience of happiness.
I have found myself being completely happy for another persons happy.
Nothing more. Nothing less.

It is an amazing feeling to be full up on crazy-happy for NO other reason than the person standing next to you is covered up with it themselves.

It's truly lovely to have nothing attached to that feeling that could be found on any darker side of anyone.

And now I crave it. And it's best - in my world - if it has absolutely nothing to do with me other than the fact that I was there to witness it happen.

I attended a wedding and was brought to tears at my sweet friends bliss.
I feel like I want to burst each time I hear stories about a dear friends little ones.
I had the privilege to be part of a surprise planned for someone that is unbelievably important to me.
I've seen a man shed his chains and begin to claim his life.
I shared time and tears and heartspace and ice cream with a friend in need.
I've watched my mother grow as well and continue to recreate herself.

And just about 8 million more small and large moments that are everything and nothing at all ... To anyone but me ... While I'm riding passenger ... Soaking up every molecule.

This does not mean that the clouds part and the angels sing and Chinese food is delivered to my bedside in some kinda Wendy centered nirvana. It doesn't mean that my universe is full of clean white socks and my ironing is always done and all lights are green.

Not so at all. I'm human and (ahem) sometimes whiney, demanding and me-centric. Let's face it .. I do love my moment in the spotlight. To be sure.

But when someone's happy makes me happy, man, it's way better than cheese AND bacon ... AND potatoes ... And even pistachio ice cream. It fits better than my favorite jeans and feels better than perfect spring days.

I dig being a spectator in other folks happy-scapes.

It just means putting my megaphone down every now and again.