Left of Center

Today was just one of those days. From the minute I opened my eyes - literally - my brain was racing. What time is it? Where do I need to be? How many minutes do I have? How can I cram one more thing into the finite number of hours I'm allotted on a Thursday?? Why did I just apply a hand full of face soap into my hair?

My hair was as foamy as my brain.

MAKE IT STOP!
... And that was all before 7:00am.
Nothing good will come of this.

And my day lived up to the monstrous image I had at 7:00am. Not enough minutes and too many To-Dos and too many people and .. and ... and. My manager asks if I'm ok. I tell her I am and that Im just swerving right and left of center and can not seem to hit stride in the middle to save my life.

I struggle with balance. Always have. It's my eternal challenge.

Sigh. Some days are just flat out toad eatin days. And I'm alright with that. I just get lost in the fray and forget how to breathe and need perspective.

Blessedly, I find that when I'm bright shiny crazy and I have the good sense to throw it out to the universe and ask for a life line the universe responds.

The phone rings.
Im so excited to hear the voice on the other end say that she is ratty and nutso too. Manic meets mayhem. Perfect!
I tell on myself.
I'm officially wound up tighter than an 8 day clock and bat shit crazy. We agree that misery requires ... Well, ..
Food.
Music.
And lack of meaningful conversation while breathing in the same space.
And food. Again. Some more.

And so the evening unravels and I unravel and she unravels ... And another friend joins and then another. All spinning in the same orbit and just enjoying space. (And food).

I finally FINALLY get from a head space to a heart space and I'm sooooooo grateful. Grateful that the universe answered and the phone rang and someone else was crazy and I was able to stave off road rage there was somewhere to share space ... Quiet space .. Breathing space ... With people I truly love .. And food.

Above all, I am so thankful that I have several angels spinning in my orbit that understand, appreciate and revel in the ability to have lack of meaningful conversation. I love that I have friends with whom silence is not uncomfortable. What a lovely gift.

I love that I have friends and family that have time and space and room for me to be whatever I need to be in the moment ... And that may be many MANY things from one minute to the next. I'm delightfully schizophrenic that way.

Tonight I just needed to be human BEING and put away the human DOING.
With food.