Blog Challenge Day Fourteen: Three Healthy Habits
I got fit.
To be completely honest, I was just like a bazillion other folks deciding to declare war against my fatness at the beginning of the year. A friend and I made our resolutions and big plans and found a gym. We hit that gym hard ... With gusto and devotion. We kept each other going and changed up workouts and diets and music and motivating factors. We sought out a fantastic trainer. We stayed the course. Then something happened. Right about the time we typically should have lost interest and resumed our skeevy lazy habits, I noticed that I was changing. And that small something became EVERYTHING. It's no secret that I have struggled all of my adult life with alcohol addiction. When that is your life NOTHING ever changes. Each day is a tragic carbon copy of the last. It is an endless non stop cycle of destruction and madness. So those couple of inches and few little endorphins were the first evidence that I really could make a change in my life. It was the first change I'd seen in the better part of a decade. It was like I had thrown off chains. That half hearted New Years resolution managed, magically, to set in motion a chain of events that changed the course of my life, turned me upside down and set me on a path I never could have imagined. I'm forty pounds lighter and a very different person than the one that started that journey.
So I got honest.
Those little changes gave me back a confidence I had lost some nine years earlier. So I decided to make bigger changes. I have always worked hard to be an authentic person. Tried, anyway. I am at my best when I am being and feeling exactly what I need to be in any given moment. I'm a better me for the folks in my life when I am in that space. But that is not entirely possible when living a lifestyle that is consumed by being completely toxic and polluted. So I got clean. I called out my angels and called myself on the carpet and tore down all my secret hiding places ... I came clean. That is a heathy habit I work at every day. It's the hardest work with the greatest rewards and most terrifying consequences I've ever taken on. And it will never end. This is for life. All in or back out.
Then I got busy.
I've been living in a self made, self imposed coffin for a long long time. I hate that I missed so much of my life. Regret is the heaviest thing I've ever known. So, with a new body and new outlook and renewed clarity and purpose I filled my calendar and got busy. Busy with ALL kinds of awesome stuff and even more awesome people. My weeks are packed with activity and laughter, chaos and exhaustion, food and fabulousness, bold, colorful events and sweet, sentimental moments. Man, I'm livin. And it feels amazing to even breathe on this planet. Only thing better than that? I'm ready for even bigger and MORE awesome things. This girl is just beginning to flex her wings.
I'm open to any other curve balls the universe sees fit to throw my way. Seems that I weather positive changes and shake ups pretty well. And when I'm fit (inside and out), honest and busy livin the storms I have to walk through don't seem quite so tumultuous after all. Or at least they dont seem to last as long.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Inside My Fridge
Blog Challenge Day Thirteen: Inside My Fridge
Not sure I can make this even remotely interesting ...
Light ranch dressing - a staple in this house and, I imagine, in Texas on the whole
Green goddess dressing
Vinegar
Izze sparkling juice
Cranberry juice
Milk
Diet dr pepper
Coke zero
Coffee creamer
A host of condiments. Boring stuff like ketchup and mustard and some fun stuff like spicy Thai sauce, white balsamic dressing and sesame oil
Left over spaghetti
Greek yogurt
Pickles
Left over goodies for our last cooking event (seafood)
Coffee
Fruit
Fresh veggies
Left over Chinese food
Whole grain bread
Lunch meat
Sliced cheese
This is, by far, the worst blog topic on the list yet.
Yeah, I'm over it.
I need peanut butter cookies ... They are beside the fridge. Does that count?
Not sure I can make this even remotely interesting ...
Light ranch dressing - a staple in this house and, I imagine, in Texas on the whole
Green goddess dressing
Vinegar
Izze sparkling juice
Cranberry juice
Milk
Diet dr pepper
Coke zero
Coffee creamer
A host of condiments. Boring stuff like ketchup and mustard and some fun stuff like spicy Thai sauce, white balsamic dressing and sesame oil
Left over spaghetti
Greek yogurt
Pickles
Left over goodies for our last cooking event (seafood)
Coffee
Fruit
Fresh veggies
Left over Chinese food
Whole grain bread
Lunch meat
Sliced cheese
This is, by far, the worst blog topic on the list yet.
Yeah, I'm over it.
I need peanut butter cookies ... They are beside the fridge. Does that count?
Monday, May 19, 2014
Favorite Childhood Book
Blog Challenge Day Twelve: Favorite Childhood Book
First and foremost, one of the best gifts my mother ever gave me was the love of and deep respect for reading. I do not just think of it in terms of all the wonderful books I've read and will read but in terms of how closed and small my world would be without that ability. Early exposure to reading opened my world to expression, education, writing and a myriad of other wondrous things. I can not imagine a world in which the simplest things would be a plaguing mystery without use of words. Street signs. Newspapers. Medications. Instructions. How trapped and helpless would I be without the magic of words?
I am told that I've had a book in my hand since age two.
Thank you mom.
Best. Gift. Ever.
That being said, I don't remember having a favorite childhood book. I DO remember that I had a Sesame Street book ordered with my name worked into the story. It was awesome. Big Bird talking to ME? Really?! How cool was I??
I have a collection of books that was special ordered for me when I was a wee one that I treasure. I've never seen or heard of the series in any store I've been to. I love them. They are full of magical creatures and little virtuous messages .... And scrawled crayon remnants of my childhood.
But I can not pinpoint any one book that was a bonafide fave.
I do, however, have distinct memories of when reading began to have meaning and bring substance to my life.
Oddly, in the genre of horror. ..... Considering the source, perhaps not odd at all.
There was a period when my mother was really really into Stephen King novels. She devoured them. And I wanted to be a part of anything grown up and "big". So I followed her into that literary journey. I became terrified by Cujo, mesmerized by The Shining and completely obsessed with It. More than that, it was during this time that I became aware of what reading awakened in me. I felt the wings of my imagination stretch, flex and take flight. I understood that my vocabulary was growing, my ability to write was developing, my thoughts expanding and my world opening. I learned about relaxing through reading and escaping and broadening my thoughtscapes. Essentially, I learned about the power of learning.
Mental murals and cerebral scrapbooks.
This was the first time I had even the slightest comprehension that my mind and my education was something - if not the only thing - that can never be taken from me. It's mine.
These days I'm thrilled about poking around to read and learn things I'm not yet familiar with.
I love Love LOVE books. Real books. Books with pages.
I love losing myself in them, trading them, sharing them, finding myself in them, losing myself in them and finishing one with the absolute certainty that I've added a few dimensions to my orbit and am vastly more curious than before about, well, EVERYTHING.
So, thank you Cujo and thank you Jack and thank you Pennywise <shiver>
And thank you to the writers who keep expanding the universe.
And thank you to all my geeky friends who share my passion and keep the circle / cycle of pages going.
... And, again, thank you mom.
"Oh, the places you'll go!" - Dr Suess
First and foremost, one of the best gifts my mother ever gave me was the love of and deep respect for reading. I do not just think of it in terms of all the wonderful books I've read and will read but in terms of how closed and small my world would be without that ability. Early exposure to reading opened my world to expression, education, writing and a myriad of other wondrous things. I can not imagine a world in which the simplest things would be a plaguing mystery without use of words. Street signs. Newspapers. Medications. Instructions. How trapped and helpless would I be without the magic of words?
I am told that I've had a book in my hand since age two.
Thank you mom.
Best. Gift. Ever.
That being said, I don't remember having a favorite childhood book. I DO remember that I had a Sesame Street book ordered with my name worked into the story. It was awesome. Big Bird talking to ME? Really?! How cool was I??
I have a collection of books that was special ordered for me when I was a wee one that I treasure. I've never seen or heard of the series in any store I've been to. I love them. They are full of magical creatures and little virtuous messages .... And scrawled crayon remnants of my childhood.
But I can not pinpoint any one book that was a bonafide fave.
I do, however, have distinct memories of when reading began to have meaning and bring substance to my life.
Oddly, in the genre of horror. ..... Considering the source, perhaps not odd at all.
There was a period when my mother was really really into Stephen King novels. She devoured them. And I wanted to be a part of anything grown up and "big". So I followed her into that literary journey. I became terrified by Cujo, mesmerized by The Shining and completely obsessed with It. More than that, it was during this time that I became aware of what reading awakened in me. I felt the wings of my imagination stretch, flex and take flight. I understood that my vocabulary was growing, my ability to write was developing, my thoughts expanding and my world opening. I learned about relaxing through reading and escaping and broadening my thoughtscapes. Essentially, I learned about the power of learning.
Mental murals and cerebral scrapbooks.
This was the first time I had even the slightest comprehension that my mind and my education was something - if not the only thing - that can never be taken from me. It's mine.
These days I'm thrilled about poking around to read and learn things I'm not yet familiar with.
I love Love LOVE books. Real books. Books with pages.
I love losing myself in them, trading them, sharing them, finding myself in them, losing myself in them and finishing one with the absolute certainty that I've added a few dimensions to my orbit and am vastly more curious than before about, well, EVERYTHING.
So, thank you Cujo and thank you Jack and thank you Pennywise <shiver>
And thank you to the writers who keep expanding the universe.
And thank you to all my geeky friends who share my passion and keep the circle / cycle of pages going.
... And, again, thank you mom.
"Oh, the places you'll go!" - Dr Suess
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Ten Favorite Foods
Blog Challenge Day Eleven: Ten Favorite Foods
I, personally, find this almost insulting. Ten?! Really?
There is a WORLD of amazing deliciousness out there and I intend to eat my way around the world and back.
How about ten "crave-ables"?
1. Cheesy chili dip. Y'all know its what's up. Truth be told, it's actually a lovingly modified version of a recipe from Tammy D. Appropriate, as she is my partner in food-ness and willing food adventurer.
2. Tater tot casserole. Straight up shamelessly stolen from Tammy D. See above mentioned reference.
3. Fruit. I adore fruit. I love it on its own and in all manner of goodness. Besides, it is a fantastic way (when used as an appetizer) to assuage the guilt of my indulgences. It's kinda like putting black beans in something and allowing yourself to believe said beans made it instantly healthy. I'm all good with that delusion. Keep that vile melon away from me though. Pffffffttt
4. Salads. I love salads because so many ultra cool things can be added to make them more fabulous. They also, despite the amount of calories I pile on top of greens, help me labor under the delusion that I'm eating healthy. Add fruit? Awesome!! Add bacon? Utopia.
5. Bacon. Need I even expound? Moving on ...
6. Thai food. Bring on the peanut sauce and rice noodles. Don't EVEN get me started on the healing powers of Pad Thai and ALL manner of curries. Heaven.
7. Chinese food. The ultimate in comfort food. Give me a rainy day, warm blanket, lit candle, excellent book and a BIG OL mess of Chinese food ANY day. Instant docile ninja.
8. Crab legs. Don't mind if I do!! Ridiculously yummy and I have a love affair with any food that requires poor manners, a huge mess and eating with ones hands. Socially acceptable inappropriate table behavior is all good in my book.
9. Cheese. If you need an explanation you also need therapy. That is all.
10. Turnovers. My fave dessert and what I always seem to crave on a cold winter day. Again, with fruit. Throw in some coffee and a foot massage and I can pretty much guarantee that I can be bribed to do an obscene number of things.
So, add these ten to the gazillion other things I love to eat and the surface may be scratched. I'm a firm believer that food is a universal language, an ultimate gesture of love, an adventure just waiting to be born and a blissful way to return oneself to cheerful.
Cheers!
Nom nom nom
I, personally, find this almost insulting. Ten?! Really?
There is a WORLD of amazing deliciousness out there and I intend to eat my way around the world and back.
How about ten "crave-ables"?
1. Cheesy chili dip. Y'all know its what's up. Truth be told, it's actually a lovingly modified version of a recipe from Tammy D. Appropriate, as she is my partner in food-ness and willing food adventurer.
2. Tater tot casserole. Straight up shamelessly stolen from Tammy D. See above mentioned reference.
3. Fruit. I adore fruit. I love it on its own and in all manner of goodness. Besides, it is a fantastic way (when used as an appetizer) to assuage the guilt of my indulgences. It's kinda like putting black beans in something and allowing yourself to believe said beans made it instantly healthy. I'm all good with that delusion. Keep that vile melon away from me though. Pffffffttt
4. Salads. I love salads because so many ultra cool things can be added to make them more fabulous. They also, despite the amount of calories I pile on top of greens, help me labor under the delusion that I'm eating healthy. Add fruit? Awesome!! Add bacon? Utopia.
5. Bacon. Need I even expound? Moving on ...
6. Thai food. Bring on the peanut sauce and rice noodles. Don't EVEN get me started on the healing powers of Pad Thai and ALL manner of curries. Heaven.
7. Chinese food. The ultimate in comfort food. Give me a rainy day, warm blanket, lit candle, excellent book and a BIG OL mess of Chinese food ANY day. Instant docile ninja.
8. Crab legs. Don't mind if I do!! Ridiculously yummy and I have a love affair with any food that requires poor manners, a huge mess and eating with ones hands. Socially acceptable inappropriate table behavior is all good in my book.
9. Cheese. If you need an explanation you also need therapy. That is all.
10. Turnovers. My fave dessert and what I always seem to crave on a cold winter day. Again, with fruit. Throw in some coffee and a foot massage and I can pretty much guarantee that I can be bribed to do an obscene number of things.
So, add these ten to the gazillion other things I love to eat and the surface may be scratched. I'm a firm believer that food is a universal language, an ultimate gesture of love, an adventure just waiting to be born and a blissful way to return oneself to cheerful.
Cheers!
Nom nom nom
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Best Trip of My Life
Blog Challenge Day Ten: Best Trip of My Life
This is another one that I find impossible to narrow down to just one. I've been a few places and I've had a few adventures. But I think of my trips like I think of songs. Each one has a meaning and a feeling and a special something that binds it to me. Even when I traveled on business I tried to fly in early and leave a bit late just to wander around on the terrain and see what the world had to show me. It's long been a favorite thing of mine to rent a car wherever I am and gather up a cup of coffee, a map, my cell phone and an open mind and just set out to get lost for a bit.
It terrifies my mother when I do that.
It makes me feel free.
When I travel for pleasure I like to turn off clocks and NOT pay attention to time. I like to eat when I'm hungry and sleep when I'm tired and move about when I feel like being in motion.
It's my personal rebellion to being a slave to time, my phone and the relentless ticking of the clock.
So I've loved most of my trips. Most.
But from Baton Rouge to Boston, L.A. to Florida, Phoenix to Providence, St. Louis to "almost" Cancun one vacation sticks out as being my ideal type of vacation.
New York City.
I adore New York City. I love that its old and worn and as established as it is new and modern. I love the buildings. I love the people. I love the enormous amount of diversity. I absolutely love that you have to do New York City on foot or you will miss all the good stuff. I love it's secrets. I love corner neighborhood grocery stores, coffee shops, theater, art and parks nestled right in the middle of the big bad city. I love it all. I love that you could live and breathe the city your whole life and never know all that she has to offer ... All twelve WHOLE miles of her.
And on one very crappy day at work I took about 7 seconds to spontaneously decide that I was going. So I bought a backpack, bought a ticket, called a friend and made it happen.
Spontaneous definitely meets perfect vacation criteria.
So I dropped myself smack in the middle of Manhattan and decided to let the city carry me wherever it felt I should go. I had a very loose idea of what I wanted to see and absolutely no time frame in which to do anything at all. Or everything. Or nothing. Or something. Or have everything change at the drop of a dime.
No concept of time and / or agenda. Criteria two.
I walked. About 150 or more blocks a day.
Here are some of the highlights of a little vacation that left a huge mark on me:
Ended up in the middle of the pit at Ground Zero on September 11th. It was a happy accident and I was glad to be there on the anniversary.
Thought it a brilliant idea to wear flip flops and then thought better of it. I ended up slipping into a very shady shoe store and purchased my beloved Green NYC Haitian Drug Cartel shoes.
Almost got trampled by a horse drawn cart while I stared in awe at the city rising up to me and rushing all around me.
Ate some of the best Indian food I've ever had from a family owned hole in the wall. Yummmm
Got lost on the subway, got locked into a subway car and promptly got my lil Texas butt hollered at to leave said subway .... Much to the amusement of native New Yorkers.
Got "dirty water" hotdogs in the park and when I tried to take a picture of George Clinton looking homeless man he tried to charge me 5 bucks for the picture. Awesome.
Walked from Times Square to the Metropolitan and took in some art. Lovely!
Laid on a park bench and stared up at Rockefeller Center ... Enthralled.
Wandered Battery Park.
Wandered Greenwich Village and got lost. Super awesome.
Stumbled across the NYC sex museum and went .. Just cuz I could .. And got the underwear off the mannequin in the lobby.
Went to Strawberry Fields and took in the silence with great respect, wonder and reverence.
Stood on the Hudson River and watched the city vibrate and sparkle against the night sky. Mesmerized.
Sang out loud in Central Park ... Cuz I didn't feel the need not to.
Sat in Union Square park listening to old men fight and bicker around the cement tables while sipping coffee.
Best. Blisters. Ever.
Let the vacation guide you. Do not guide the vacation. Definite criteria.
Came home after four days actually rested and longing to come back again and again.
Coming home better than you left in all ways possible. Absolutely necessary criteria.
That's the way I wish I always traveled. My backpack, my music, a universe of new experiences, a world of food, excellent nights rest and full full days of complete submersion.
I'd like to see all the cities I'm curious about in just that way. All in. Open to everything. And I want to come home feeling completely full and still wanting more.
This is another one that I find impossible to narrow down to just one. I've been a few places and I've had a few adventures. But I think of my trips like I think of songs. Each one has a meaning and a feeling and a special something that binds it to me. Even when I traveled on business I tried to fly in early and leave a bit late just to wander around on the terrain and see what the world had to show me. It's long been a favorite thing of mine to rent a car wherever I am and gather up a cup of coffee, a map, my cell phone and an open mind and just set out to get lost for a bit.
It terrifies my mother when I do that.
It makes me feel free.
When I travel for pleasure I like to turn off clocks and NOT pay attention to time. I like to eat when I'm hungry and sleep when I'm tired and move about when I feel like being in motion.
It's my personal rebellion to being a slave to time, my phone and the relentless ticking of the clock.
So I've loved most of my trips. Most.
But from Baton Rouge to Boston, L.A. to Florida, Phoenix to Providence, St. Louis to "almost" Cancun one vacation sticks out as being my ideal type of vacation.
New York City.
I adore New York City. I love that its old and worn and as established as it is new and modern. I love the buildings. I love the people. I love the enormous amount of diversity. I absolutely love that you have to do New York City on foot or you will miss all the good stuff. I love it's secrets. I love corner neighborhood grocery stores, coffee shops, theater, art and parks nestled right in the middle of the big bad city. I love it all. I love that you could live and breathe the city your whole life and never know all that she has to offer ... All twelve WHOLE miles of her.
And on one very crappy day at work I took about 7 seconds to spontaneously decide that I was going. So I bought a backpack, bought a ticket, called a friend and made it happen.
Spontaneous definitely meets perfect vacation criteria.
So I dropped myself smack in the middle of Manhattan and decided to let the city carry me wherever it felt I should go. I had a very loose idea of what I wanted to see and absolutely no time frame in which to do anything at all. Or everything. Or nothing. Or something. Or have everything change at the drop of a dime.
No concept of time and / or agenda. Criteria two.
I walked. About 150 or more blocks a day.
Here are some of the highlights of a little vacation that left a huge mark on me:
Ended up in the middle of the pit at Ground Zero on September 11th. It was a happy accident and I was glad to be there on the anniversary.
Thought it a brilliant idea to wear flip flops and then thought better of it. I ended up slipping into a very shady shoe store and purchased my beloved Green NYC Haitian Drug Cartel shoes.
Almost got trampled by a horse drawn cart while I stared in awe at the city rising up to me and rushing all around me.
Ate some of the best Indian food I've ever had from a family owned hole in the wall. Yummmm
Got lost on the subway, got locked into a subway car and promptly got my lil Texas butt hollered at to leave said subway .... Much to the amusement of native New Yorkers.
Got "dirty water" hotdogs in the park and when I tried to take a picture of George Clinton looking homeless man he tried to charge me 5 bucks for the picture. Awesome.
Walked from Times Square to the Metropolitan and took in some art. Lovely!
Laid on a park bench and stared up at Rockefeller Center ... Enthralled.
Wandered Battery Park.
Wandered Greenwich Village and got lost. Super awesome.
Stumbled across the NYC sex museum and went .. Just cuz I could .. And got the underwear off the mannequin in the lobby.
Went to Strawberry Fields and took in the silence with great respect, wonder and reverence.
Stood on the Hudson River and watched the city vibrate and sparkle against the night sky. Mesmerized.
Sang out loud in Central Park ... Cuz I didn't feel the need not to.
Sat in Union Square park listening to old men fight and bicker around the cement tables while sipping coffee.
Best. Blisters. Ever.
Let the vacation guide you. Do not guide the vacation. Definite criteria.
Came home after four days actually rested and longing to come back again and again.
Coming home better than you left in all ways possible. Absolutely necessary criteria.
That's the way I wish I always traveled. My backpack, my music, a universe of new experiences, a world of food, excellent nights rest and full full days of complete submersion.
I'd like to see all the cities I'm curious about in just that way. All in. Open to everything. And I want to come home feeling completely full and still wanting more.
What's In My Purse
Blog Challenge Day Nine: What's In My Purse
I'm amused. Mostly because even I don't know what the entire contents of my purse are.
Outside pocket:
Three different workout plans scribbled out on scratch paper
Coupon for Bath n Body
Driving directions to doctor
Meeting log
Oh, and a random penny
(That was sadly boring)
Inside:
(No less than) five pens ... All of which I have torn my desk apart to find at some point
Two bottles of hand sanitizer (no ickies, please)
Nose spray
Two tubes of smell good lotion (there's a shocker)
Two small mirrors (???)
Overstuffed wallet with broken snap
Checkbook register
One packet antibiotic ointment
One packet towelette
Comb (what? ... A comb? ... How'd that get in there?)
Giant wad of keys WITH Lego ninja turtle keychain (thank you Erin)
Trusty and ever present church key (barkeeper bottle capper) Never took it out from the old days
And apparently one love note cleverly snuck in there by Auntie
Various "girl" products (that are NEVER there when I need them)
Oh, and a random nickel
Other Outside Pockets:
Vaporizer
Two lighters
Headphones
Other random penny
Six lip balms (it's pathological)
Three lip glosses
One lipstick (for emergency use)
Three hair ties and three hair clips (for unruly humid white girl Afro days)
Tweezers (always handy)
Hmmmmmm
Well
That's it. Pathetically UNspectacular.
But this silly little exercise has reinforced that as women get older our bags get exponentially larger ... To carry more randomness that we are completely lost without when we don't have it immediately available and don't think about when we do.
I'm amused. Mostly because even I don't know what the entire contents of my purse are.
Outside pocket:
Three different workout plans scribbled out on scratch paper
Coupon for Bath n Body
Driving directions to doctor
Meeting log
Oh, and a random penny
(That was sadly boring)
Inside:
(No less than) five pens ... All of which I have torn my desk apart to find at some point
Two bottles of hand sanitizer (no ickies, please)
Nose spray
Two tubes of smell good lotion (there's a shocker)
Two small mirrors (???)
Overstuffed wallet with broken snap
Checkbook register
One packet antibiotic ointment
One packet towelette
Comb (what? ... A comb? ... How'd that get in there?)
Giant wad of keys WITH Lego ninja turtle keychain (thank you Erin)
Trusty and ever present church key (barkeeper bottle capper) Never took it out from the old days
And apparently one love note cleverly snuck in there by Auntie
Various "girl" products (that are NEVER there when I need them)
Oh, and a random nickel
Other Outside Pockets:
Vaporizer
Two lighters
Headphones
Other random penny
Six lip balms (it's pathological)
Three lip glosses
One lipstick (for emergency use)
Three hair ties and three hair clips (for unruly humid white girl Afro days)
Tweezers (always handy)
Hmmmmmm
Well
That's it. Pathetically UNspectacular.
But this silly little exercise has reinforced that as women get older our bags get exponentially larger ... To carry more randomness that we are completely lost without when we don't have it immediately available and don't think about when we do.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Five Current Goals
Blog Challenge Day Eight: Five Current Goals
Ok, I rolled my eyes a bit at today's blog topic .. A bit.
Not entirely because I find these topics sorta vanilla in my turtle brownie fudge sundae kinda brain, but because its a little personal. And that makes me uncomfortable. Since being a wee bit uncomfortable has been the point from the get go I'm going to give it a shot.
1. Keeping my head, heart and spirit in check and aligned. This means a whole lot of honest, being exactly whatever I need to be in any given moment, suiting up and showing up, being right sized and staying the hell out of a bottle. And ALL that that entails.
2. Cleaning house. This means making sure I do everything I can in the interest of healthy relationships in my life ... From back to front ... Inside and out ... Even when its gut wrenching.
3. Find love. I'm ready.
4. Have a fantastic adventure. I'm ready to get right in the middle of something great. I have no idea what that looks like .. And that's crazy cool with me. I'm ready to try my hand at adventure rather than reckless.
5. Push myself. I finally feel capable of looking beyond the next 5 minutes of my future. I finally feel valid and smart enough and capable. It feels good to be back. So whether that's professionally or personally or spiritually or all of the above and more, I'm ready to stop selling myself short.
Whew.
Once upon a time a friend told me (and continues to gently remind me) that we must put out into the universe the things that we want. I'm hoping by putting these things out there that the universe responds and all of my angels will encourage and hold me accountable.
Alright ... I take back my eye rolling.
Ok, I rolled my eyes a bit at today's blog topic .. A bit.
Not entirely because I find these topics sorta vanilla in my turtle brownie fudge sundae kinda brain, but because its a little personal. And that makes me uncomfortable. Since being a wee bit uncomfortable has been the point from the get go I'm going to give it a shot.
1. Keeping my head, heart and spirit in check and aligned. This means a whole lot of honest, being exactly whatever I need to be in any given moment, suiting up and showing up, being right sized and staying the hell out of a bottle. And ALL that that entails.
2. Cleaning house. This means making sure I do everything I can in the interest of healthy relationships in my life ... From back to front ... Inside and out ... Even when its gut wrenching.
3. Find love. I'm ready.
4. Have a fantastic adventure. I'm ready to get right in the middle of something great. I have no idea what that looks like .. And that's crazy cool with me. I'm ready to try my hand at adventure rather than reckless.
5. Push myself. I finally feel capable of looking beyond the next 5 minutes of my future. I finally feel valid and smart enough and capable. It feels good to be back. So whether that's professionally or personally or spiritually or all of the above and more, I'm ready to stop selling myself short.
Whew.
Once upon a time a friend told me (and continues to gently remind me) that we must put out into the universe the things that we want. I'm hoping by putting these things out there that the universe responds and all of my angels will encourage and hold me accountable.
Alright ... I take back my eye rolling.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Five Favorite Songs
Blog Challenge Day Seven: Five Favorite Songs
Ugh
Pfffttttt
This blog topic is even MORE irritating than trying to select my proudest moment.
Really??!!
Seriously?!
(Channeling Hannibal Lector ..) "you think you can dissect me with this blunt little tool ..."
So I reached out to some folks for an assist. (Que music .. "I get by with a little help from my friends .."
So, in a very Wendy-esque sorta way I will, instead, give five categories and the five songs that come to mind in each category. (In the absence of an acceptable standard, I will become the standard) That should at least give a taste of what grooves me. A very minuscule fraction of a taste.
Disco
If I Can't Have You - Yvonne Elliman
Night Fever - The Bee Gees
I Feel Love - Donna Summer
Take Your Time Do It Right - The SOS Band
Lay All Your Love On Me - ABBA
Frisky
In Your Room - Depeche Mode
Janet Jackson - If
Oops, Oh My - Tweet
Hard Day - George Michael
Sweaty - Jodeci
Angry Chick
Precious Things - Tori Amos
Raise Your Glass - Pink
No Light No Light - Florence and the Machine
Would Not Come - Alanis Morrisette
Not My Idea - Garbage
Creep - TLC
Heart Strings
This Woman's Work - Kate Bush
Let Me Touch You For a While - Allyson Krause
Fear - Sarah McLachlan
Disillusioned - Sinead Lohan
Give Me Wings - Michael Johnson
(Bonus Track: In My Life - The Beatles)
Euro Fabulous
Strawberry Fields Forever - The Beatles
Sometimes - Erasure
There Is A Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths
The Crying Game - Boy George
Palomino - Duran Duran (highly recommended)
(Bonus Track: Mona Lisas and Madhatters - Elton John) ((also highly recommended))
I will now sit here and think of the 8 million other songs I should have listed as well .....
Ugh
Pfffttttt
This blog topic is even MORE irritating than trying to select my proudest moment.
Really??!!
Seriously?!
(Channeling Hannibal Lector ..) "you think you can dissect me with this blunt little tool ..."
So I reached out to some folks for an assist. (Que music .. "I get by with a little help from my friends .."
So, in a very Wendy-esque sorta way I will, instead, give five categories and the five songs that come to mind in each category. (In the absence of an acceptable standard, I will become the standard) That should at least give a taste of what grooves me. A very minuscule fraction of a taste.
Disco
If I Can't Have You - Yvonne Elliman
Night Fever - The Bee Gees
I Feel Love - Donna Summer
Take Your Time Do It Right - The SOS Band
Lay All Your Love On Me - ABBA
Frisky
In Your Room - Depeche Mode
Janet Jackson - If
Oops, Oh My - Tweet
Hard Day - George Michael
Sweaty - Jodeci
Angry Chick
Precious Things - Tori Amos
Raise Your Glass - Pink
No Light No Light - Florence and the Machine
Would Not Come - Alanis Morrisette
Not My Idea - Garbage
Creep - TLC
Heart Strings
This Woman's Work - Kate Bush
Let Me Touch You For a While - Allyson Krause
Fear - Sarah McLachlan
Disillusioned - Sinead Lohan
Give Me Wings - Michael Johnson
(Bonus Track: In My Life - The Beatles)
Euro Fabulous
Strawberry Fields Forever - The Beatles
Sometimes - Erasure
There Is A Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths
The Crying Game - Boy George
Palomino - Duran Duran (highly recommended)
(Bonus Track: Mona Lisas and Madhatters - Elton John) ((also highly recommended))
I will now sit here and think of the 8 million other songs I should have listed as well .....
Saturday, May 10, 2014
What I Am Afraid Of
Blog Challenge Day Six: What I Am Afraid Of
Just gotta get it off my chest .....
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I'm afraid of a really REALLY lot of things.
Now, I wasn't lying. I am drawn to the edge. I love being in the fire and crave the crazy train. But that has nothing to do with being scared. I've also had to learn - the hard way - that having a desire for adventure doesn't mean I need to engage in reckless and dangerous.
So here's some of the highlights:
Vomit! It freaks me out!
Heights. <shiver>
Death. Since I was little.
Bugs! Don't mind lookin at em ... But when they move around it makes me squeal.
Loneliness. Don't mind bein alone but loneliness terrifies me.
Being caught off guard emotionally ... It throws me off balance and makes me paranoid.
Emotional pain .... Terrifies me.
Hate ... Most toxic thing I can think of
Abandonment. Crippling fear of that.
(Hand in hand with death) Not having lived well or lived to the fullest. Essentially, wasted life.
Booze. Very afraid of booze.
Airplane turbulence.
Slimy foods. <another shiver>
The ocean. I'm completely awestruck by the ocean, it's beauty, mystery and power. I am mesmerized but the thought of not being able to see beneath me is sheer terror.
There are so many more.
Oddly enough, I had no problem breaking up bar fights and riding storms.
I never claimed to make sense .... Or be sensible, for that matter.
So if you want to chase a tornado or run toward a fiery car crash I'm TOTALLY down. However, chasing me down with slimy stewed okra beside a sharp drop off next to a bug with prickly little legs might cause a mental breakdown. Just sayin ...
And even if it scares me, I might just do it anyway.
Just gotta get it off my chest .....
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I'm afraid of a really REALLY lot of things.
Now, I wasn't lying. I am drawn to the edge. I love being in the fire and crave the crazy train. But that has nothing to do with being scared. I've also had to learn - the hard way - that having a desire for adventure doesn't mean I need to engage in reckless and dangerous.
So here's some of the highlights:
Vomit! It freaks me out!
Heights. <shiver>
Death. Since I was little.
Bugs! Don't mind lookin at em ... But when they move around it makes me squeal.
Loneliness. Don't mind bein alone but loneliness terrifies me.
Being caught off guard emotionally ... It throws me off balance and makes me paranoid.
Emotional pain .... Terrifies me.
Hate ... Most toxic thing I can think of
Abandonment. Crippling fear of that.
(Hand in hand with death) Not having lived well or lived to the fullest. Essentially, wasted life.
Booze. Very afraid of booze.
Airplane turbulence.
Slimy foods. <another shiver>
The ocean. I'm completely awestruck by the ocean, it's beauty, mystery and power. I am mesmerized but the thought of not being able to see beneath me is sheer terror.
There are so many more.
Oddly enough, I had no problem breaking up bar fights and riding storms.
I never claimed to make sense .... Or be sensible, for that matter.
So if you want to chase a tornado or run toward a fiery car crash I'm TOTALLY down. However, chasing me down with slimy stewed okra beside a sharp drop off next to a bug with prickly little legs might cause a mental breakdown. Just sayin ...
And even if it scares me, I might just do it anyway.
My Proudest Moment
Blog Challenge Day Five (kinda): My Proudest Moment
Um ... I really hate questions like these. It's utterly impossible to reduce 4 decades on the planet to a single moment. I find it as ridiculous as asking my favorite movie, favorite song or favorite food.
Not humanly possible.
But what I CAN do is discuss some of the moments that come to mind when the question arises.
I was proud of the simple silly little poems I scratched out (and still have somewhere) in grade school and junior high. It was the first time I felt like I'd ever truly heard my own voice. And I was very proud when one was chosen to be read at our graduation ... Even though I still think its a horrible poem.
I was proud to be a speed skater when I was a little kid. It was the first time I ever felt good at anything.
I was proud when I graduated high school. I'd been sick for a lot of my senior year, my mother was far away and I had pathetically little support at home. I was wild and rebellious and very smart and I could very easily have chosen the other fork of that road.
I am proud of the friendships that I chose and have been able to maintain over a couple few decades now. I appreciate that we share the salty and the sweet and I know (Lord, do I know) it has not been easy.
I am proud of the work in my community I chose to do. Working in HIV hospice care, youth advocacy, suicide prevention and various other projects was amazing. It shaped my soul and fed my spirit. I truly did those things selflessly. Those lessons have never left me.
I am proud of the comfort I've found in my own skin and particular flavor of crazy. I like being colorful and I honestly don't know any other way to be.
I'm proud that I raised my hand first and was selected to go to New Orleans directly following Hurricane Katrina and during Hurricane Rita. Those 6 weeks had an extremely profound effect on me socially, personally and professionally.
I'm proud that I went to NYC to pay my respects following 9-11. I needed to be a part of something bigger than myself. I'm also proud that I did what I set out to do and didn't act the fool like a circus spectator like many others I saw there.
I am proud that I would do those things and more again tomorrow in a heartbeat without a second of hesitation.
I'm proud I graduated college. I paid my dues and paid my way and took the really long way to get there. But I did it. And it's mine.
I'm proud that I chose to be well and not to die and that my demons are back in their own bottle that is not on my shelf.
I'm proud that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to live authentically and within my integrity ... Even when it sucks .. Even when I get in trouble for it .. Even when I tragically miss the mark and have to try again and again.
I'm proud that I choose professions that have a direct impact on the community I live in.
I'm proud that I have and will always make room and space for a little bit of everyone in my life.
I'm proud that I'm resilient. Even when I don't want to be.
There are many, many more. Blessedly. Thankfully.
There will be more tomorrow if I choose wisely and treat kindly ... And right the ship when I run aground.
Um ... I really hate questions like these. It's utterly impossible to reduce 4 decades on the planet to a single moment. I find it as ridiculous as asking my favorite movie, favorite song or favorite food.
Not humanly possible.
But what I CAN do is discuss some of the moments that come to mind when the question arises.
I was proud of the simple silly little poems I scratched out (and still have somewhere) in grade school and junior high. It was the first time I felt like I'd ever truly heard my own voice. And I was very proud when one was chosen to be read at our graduation ... Even though I still think its a horrible poem.
I was proud to be a speed skater when I was a little kid. It was the first time I ever felt good at anything.
I was proud when I graduated high school. I'd been sick for a lot of my senior year, my mother was far away and I had pathetically little support at home. I was wild and rebellious and very smart and I could very easily have chosen the other fork of that road.
I am proud of the friendships that I chose and have been able to maintain over a couple few decades now. I appreciate that we share the salty and the sweet and I know (Lord, do I know) it has not been easy.
I am proud of the work in my community I chose to do. Working in HIV hospice care, youth advocacy, suicide prevention and various other projects was amazing. It shaped my soul and fed my spirit. I truly did those things selflessly. Those lessons have never left me.
I am proud of the comfort I've found in my own skin and particular flavor of crazy. I like being colorful and I honestly don't know any other way to be.
I'm proud that I raised my hand first and was selected to go to New Orleans directly following Hurricane Katrina and during Hurricane Rita. Those 6 weeks had an extremely profound effect on me socially, personally and professionally.
I'm proud that I went to NYC to pay my respects following 9-11. I needed to be a part of something bigger than myself. I'm also proud that I did what I set out to do and didn't act the fool like a circus spectator like many others I saw there.
I am proud that I would do those things and more again tomorrow in a heartbeat without a second of hesitation.
I'm proud I graduated college. I paid my dues and paid my way and took the really long way to get there. But I did it. And it's mine.
I'm proud that I chose to be well and not to die and that my demons are back in their own bottle that is not on my shelf.
I'm proud that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to live authentically and within my integrity ... Even when it sucks .. Even when I get in trouble for it .. Even when I tragically miss the mark and have to try again and again.
I'm proud that I choose professions that have a direct impact on the community I live in.
I'm proud that I have and will always make room and space for a little bit of everyone in my life.
I'm proud that I'm resilient. Even when I don't want to be.
There are many, many more. Blessedly. Thankfully.
There will be more tomorrow if I choose wisely and treat kindly ... And right the ship when I run aground.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
My Dream Job
Blog Challenge Day Four: My Dream Job
The thought of my dream job seems like such a huge thing to consider .. Or maybe like it SHOULD be such a huge thing to consider. Anything. Anything at all. In the wide world of anythings!
Whew!
Astronaut or bold world famous activist? Olympic Curler or photographer for National Geographic? International reporter or traveling food critic? Flight attendant or CIA spy.
I overwhelm myself at the notion and possibilities. But when my head stops swirling with big glittery sparkly ideas I seem to always come back to the same thing.
I WANNA BE A RADIO DJ!!
And, man, I would be great at it. I would. ... Way better than a flight attendant.
Here's the thing ... I have always had a deep passion for music. Like almost everyone, music really moves my soul. In times when I had pushed my feelings so deep inside me that I was scarce to feel a single thing at all music was the vehicle that helped me bleed the system and come back to life. Music transports me. It is often how I communicate with folks. It is often now I learn about me.
And I have a HUGE personality. I have a personality that is best when not chained down but also best when it has bumper rails.
I have a real and genuine interest in the world around me and I'd love the chance to share my thoughts and ideas while encouraging constructive dialog.
I have NO problem pushing the envelope, pushing buttons and pushing folks outta their comfort zones. I believe it sparks change.
I'm a complete attention whore ... No shame, I am. But keeping this sparkler lit takes a lot of energy so it would be nice to have a venue in which I could let the flames rise for a finite amount of time and then have time to myself to recharge. I am absolutely no good without a certain amount of quiet time to simmer the volcano.
I speak real good. I'm actually well spoken and articulate when I need to be. Sometimes I even have something of substance to say .. That is coherent .. That is meaningful. Sometimes.
I want the chance to see if my voice is really sexy over the radio. Ya know, like all Stevie Nicks and such.
I want the luxury of not caring at all what I wear to work ... Unless I get to meet someone way cooler than me .... And then I'd (hopefully) have folks that could make me presentable.
I'm actually pretty funny. Well, at least in my own mind I'm good for a few laughs.
I dont like to miss the cool stuff. I love the idea of being connected to everything going on in the city I love. I adore the thought of being a part of the events that make my city so ridiculously awesome.
I have A LOT to say ... And it's best if folks are subjected to that in four hour chunks of time.
I have wicked awful instant karma ... So it's best if I'm physically contained in a small sound booth.
I want to play righteous amazing uber cool music ... And relegate the Ke$has and Biebers of the world back to gutter sludge from whence they came. No craptastic tunes allowed. Don't phone it in, man, bring it live and large.
So that's it. That's my dream job. Of ALL the things that I could be its the one thing that I imagine could get me out of the bed each morning cheerfully. I'd be great at it.
Some other folks might have a good time with me or at my expense too. And that's all good with me.
The thought of my dream job seems like such a huge thing to consider .. Or maybe like it SHOULD be such a huge thing to consider. Anything. Anything at all. In the wide world of anythings!
Whew!
Astronaut or bold world famous activist? Olympic Curler or photographer for National Geographic? International reporter or traveling food critic? Flight attendant or CIA spy.
I overwhelm myself at the notion and possibilities. But when my head stops swirling with big glittery sparkly ideas I seem to always come back to the same thing.
I WANNA BE A RADIO DJ!!
And, man, I would be great at it. I would. ... Way better than a flight attendant.
Here's the thing ... I have always had a deep passion for music. Like almost everyone, music really moves my soul. In times when I had pushed my feelings so deep inside me that I was scarce to feel a single thing at all music was the vehicle that helped me bleed the system and come back to life. Music transports me. It is often how I communicate with folks. It is often now I learn about me.
And I have a HUGE personality. I have a personality that is best when not chained down but also best when it has bumper rails.
I have a real and genuine interest in the world around me and I'd love the chance to share my thoughts and ideas while encouraging constructive dialog.
I have NO problem pushing the envelope, pushing buttons and pushing folks outta their comfort zones. I believe it sparks change.
I'm a complete attention whore ... No shame, I am. But keeping this sparkler lit takes a lot of energy so it would be nice to have a venue in which I could let the flames rise for a finite amount of time and then have time to myself to recharge. I am absolutely no good without a certain amount of quiet time to simmer the volcano.
I speak real good. I'm actually well spoken and articulate when I need to be. Sometimes I even have something of substance to say .. That is coherent .. That is meaningful. Sometimes.
I want the chance to see if my voice is really sexy over the radio. Ya know, like all Stevie Nicks and such.
I want the luxury of not caring at all what I wear to work ... Unless I get to meet someone way cooler than me .... And then I'd (hopefully) have folks that could make me presentable.
I'm actually pretty funny. Well, at least in my own mind I'm good for a few laughs.
I dont like to miss the cool stuff. I love the idea of being connected to everything going on in the city I love. I adore the thought of being a part of the events that make my city so ridiculously awesome.
I have A LOT to say ... And it's best if folks are subjected to that in four hour chunks of time.
I have wicked awful instant karma ... So it's best if I'm physically contained in a small sound booth.
I want to play righteous amazing uber cool music ... And relegate the Ke$has and Biebers of the world back to gutter sludge from whence they came. No craptastic tunes allowed. Don't phone it in, man, bring it live and large.
So that's it. That's my dream job. Of ALL the things that I could be its the one thing that I imagine could get me out of the bed each morning cheerfully. I'd be great at it.
Some other folks might have a good time with me or at my expense too. And that's all good with me.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
My Favorite Quote
Blog Challenge Day Three: My Favorite Quote
Many many moons ago my friend Jen drew me a picture. At the bottom she wrote "I just want to me without making it difficult for you to be you".
I never looked the quote up to see if it was lovingly borrowed because I've always wanted to believe they were her words from her heart and soul and spoken directly for me. I am perfectly fine if I never know anything to the contrary.
But those words (and that drawing) have never left me. They struck me so deeply that they became my personal mantra and mission statement. That little phrase defined so gracefully sentiments that I hadn't quite been able to articulate before.
It held true then. It holds true today.
Now, I have always been a little (and a lot) different. Too smart for the typical kids and not smart enough for the geniuses. Too bold and outspoken and then too sensitive and emotional. Too young. Too old. Too much. Not enough. Quite frankly, though over the years I've become comfortable with my peculiarities, it hasn't been until the last year or so that I've ever felt completely comfortable any one place at all.
It's fabulous to be different.
It's big and bright and colorful.
It's glorious.
And unbelievably difficult.
And a constant struggle.
And terribly lonely.
And takes a lot of courage.
Over the years I've collected an amazing array of vastly unique friends. All incredibly different in their race, religion, beliefs, tastes, opinions and experiences. I'm so very very proud of that and all the gifts they bring to my silly little life. I've been able to successfully employ that small phrase in my life and reap its benefits when passionately and honestly applied. I've seen with my own eyes, felt in my soul and drowned in the sadness that results when we CAN'T be who we need to be without leaving room for another to be who they need to be.
I follow events, intently watch the world around me, reconcile my own experiences and keep coming back, again and again, to that tiny cluster of words.
Call it what you want .... "Do unto others" .. "Be the change you wish to see" .. But I know what it is like - first hand - when the world pushes you away because it doesn't have room. I know how I wish to be received and welcomed. I know I have A LOT of room and space for a really lot of things and folks. And I know in my heart and soul how wonderful it is when my orbit is a beautiful chaos of color and light.
Don't get it twisted. I miss the mark a lot. Too often. But I always come right back to a handful of words that I choose to try to live by.
It's what I expect from others. It's what I demand of myself.
I just want to me without making it difficult for you to be you.
Promise.
Many many moons ago my friend Jen drew me a picture. At the bottom she wrote "I just want to me without making it difficult for you to be you".
I never looked the quote up to see if it was lovingly borrowed because I've always wanted to believe they were her words from her heart and soul and spoken directly for me. I am perfectly fine if I never know anything to the contrary.
But those words (and that drawing) have never left me. They struck me so deeply that they became my personal mantra and mission statement. That little phrase defined so gracefully sentiments that I hadn't quite been able to articulate before.
It held true then. It holds true today.
Now, I have always been a little (and a lot) different. Too smart for the typical kids and not smart enough for the geniuses. Too bold and outspoken and then too sensitive and emotional. Too young. Too old. Too much. Not enough. Quite frankly, though over the years I've become comfortable with my peculiarities, it hasn't been until the last year or so that I've ever felt completely comfortable any one place at all.
It's fabulous to be different.
It's big and bright and colorful.
It's glorious.
And unbelievably difficult.
And a constant struggle.
And terribly lonely.
And takes a lot of courage.
Over the years I've collected an amazing array of vastly unique friends. All incredibly different in their race, religion, beliefs, tastes, opinions and experiences. I'm so very very proud of that and all the gifts they bring to my silly little life. I've been able to successfully employ that small phrase in my life and reap its benefits when passionately and honestly applied. I've seen with my own eyes, felt in my soul and drowned in the sadness that results when we CAN'T be who we need to be without leaving room for another to be who they need to be.
I follow events, intently watch the world around me, reconcile my own experiences and keep coming back, again and again, to that tiny cluster of words.
Call it what you want .... "Do unto others" .. "Be the change you wish to see" .. But I know what it is like - first hand - when the world pushes you away because it doesn't have room. I know how I wish to be received and welcomed. I know I have A LOT of room and space for a really lot of things and folks. And I know in my heart and soul how wonderful it is when my orbit is a beautiful chaos of color and light.
Don't get it twisted. I miss the mark a lot. Too often. But I always come right back to a handful of words that I choose to try to live by.
It's what I expect from others. It's what I demand of myself.
I just want to me without making it difficult for you to be you.
Promise.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
20 Facts About Me
Blog Challenge Day Two: 20 Facts About Me
(... Which feels kinda silly cuz I'm a fairly open book)
My middle name is Beth but my Nana thought it was "Bath" til the day she died
My favorite color is orange
If I were any cartoon character I'd be Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes
My greatest fear is death and has been since I was very young
My greatest sadness is not having children
My greatest regret / shame is the nine years I lost to obscene amounts of drinking
I'm curious about EVERYTHING
I adore vinegar .. It makes me happy
I love food and cooking but did not learn to cook until a few years ago
I have many MANY fears but a strange tendency toward and fascination with danger and recklessness
My best friend in kindergarten beat me up and (literally) chewed up the pages of my library book ... I beat her up in junior high and we called it even
I cry more at happy things than sad things
I speak my mind (too) often and (too) loudly. And while I'm proud of my bold, sparkly, crazy, brash self and I work hard to be honest, I'm painfully, ridiculously sensitive
I hate melons ... HATE
I love to rent a car and purposely get lost in the cities I visit
I used to volunteer in a hospice for children living with HIV/AIDS
I rode out a stretch of hurricane Rita on the roof of a 17 story building because I was bored
I want to backpack through Europe and road trip across the United States
I've lived West for most of my life but I feel most at home in Boston or New York
I'm the only child of an only child of an only child ... I'm the last Dale
*** Bonus Factoid: My favorite quote is "I just want to be me without making it difficult for you to be you"
(... Which feels kinda silly cuz I'm a fairly open book)
My middle name is Beth but my Nana thought it was "Bath" til the day she died
My favorite color is orange
If I were any cartoon character I'd be Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes
My greatest fear is death and has been since I was very young
My greatest sadness is not having children
My greatest regret / shame is the nine years I lost to obscene amounts of drinking
I'm curious about EVERYTHING
I adore vinegar .. It makes me happy
I love food and cooking but did not learn to cook until a few years ago
I have many MANY fears but a strange tendency toward and fascination with danger and recklessness
My best friend in kindergarten beat me up and (literally) chewed up the pages of my library book ... I beat her up in junior high and we called it even
I cry more at happy things than sad things
I speak my mind (too) often and (too) loudly. And while I'm proud of my bold, sparkly, crazy, brash self and I work hard to be honest, I'm painfully, ridiculously sensitive
I hate melons ... HATE
I love to rent a car and purposely get lost in the cities I visit
I used to volunteer in a hospice for children living with HIV/AIDS
I rode out a stretch of hurricane Rita on the roof of a 17 story building because I was bored
I want to backpack through Europe and road trip across the United States
I've lived West for most of my life but I feel most at home in Boston or New York
I'm the only child of an only child of an only child ... I'm the last Dale
*** Bonus Factoid: My favorite quote is "I just want to be me without making it difficult for you to be you"
Monday, May 5, 2014
My Blog Name
Blog Challenge Day One: My Blog Name
The World According to Wendy.
This thing began as a personal "call on the carpet". I have thoughts - lots of em. Those thoughts manifest in words which I tend to lock up in my cerebral hope chest or spew every which where.
Every once in a while my thoughts make sense. Sometimes they're even poignant. I've been encouraged all my life to write. I've been too afraid to do so. Plain and simple.
I've been going through some major changes and it seemed the perfect time to put these mental murals down while I process the chaos and move toward some semblance of balance and clarity. Since my fear seems bigger than my ambition sometimes, a dear friend built this page for me and aptly named it on my behalf.
I've been seeking out ways to push my own envelope and be productively uncomfortable just to see what I can shake up and what comes of it.
So, the name of this blog is an affirmation of the journey I'm on and the solace I've come to know in my evolution. I no longer wish to "arrive" but am excited about the journey. I still have A LOT of thoughts and use my words a lil too often but I'm fascinated by the changes I'm going through and the paths I'm on and where they lead me.
This IS the world according to Wendy. It's everything and nothing at all. It is the universe as seen by one little girl with a big heart and bigger mouth. And sure as I live, breathe and write it today, it will change at any second. And I'm ok with that. I welcome it just as I welcome all of the forces in my orbit that push, pull, expand and contract causing its evolution.
It's my call to duty to live as I claim I would like to: without boundaries, in the moment, out front and center, with integrity, no apologies and no self compromising. Being real, keeping it real and demanding real in return. It's accountability. It's a reminder. It's a confession when I miss the mark.
This is me and mine in a delicious, wonderful, passionate, beautiful, infuriating, wretched, awesome collision with you and yours.
The World According to Wendy.
This thing began as a personal "call on the carpet". I have thoughts - lots of em. Those thoughts manifest in words which I tend to lock up in my cerebral hope chest or spew every which where.
Every once in a while my thoughts make sense. Sometimes they're even poignant. I've been encouraged all my life to write. I've been too afraid to do so. Plain and simple.
I've been going through some major changes and it seemed the perfect time to put these mental murals down while I process the chaos and move toward some semblance of balance and clarity. Since my fear seems bigger than my ambition sometimes, a dear friend built this page for me and aptly named it on my behalf.
I've been seeking out ways to push my own envelope and be productively uncomfortable just to see what I can shake up and what comes of it.
So, the name of this blog is an affirmation of the journey I'm on and the solace I've come to know in my evolution. I no longer wish to "arrive" but am excited about the journey. I still have A LOT of thoughts and use my words a lil too often but I'm fascinated by the changes I'm going through and the paths I'm on and where they lead me.
This IS the world according to Wendy. It's everything and nothing at all. It is the universe as seen by one little girl with a big heart and bigger mouth. And sure as I live, breathe and write it today, it will change at any second. And I'm ok with that. I welcome it just as I welcome all of the forces in my orbit that push, pull, expand and contract causing its evolution.
It's my call to duty to live as I claim I would like to: without boundaries, in the moment, out front and center, with integrity, no apologies and no self compromising. Being real, keeping it real and demanding real in return. It's accountability. It's a reminder. It's a confession when I miss the mark.
This is me and mine in a delicious, wonderful, passionate, beautiful, infuriating, wretched, awesome collision with you and yours.
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