My Proudest Moment

Blog Challenge Day Five (kinda): My Proudest Moment

Um ... I really hate questions like these. It's utterly impossible to reduce 4 decades on the planet to a single moment. I find it as ridiculous as asking my favorite movie, favorite song or favorite food.

Not humanly possible.

But what I CAN do is discuss some of the moments that come to mind when the question arises.

I was proud of the simple silly little poems I scratched out (and still have somewhere) in grade school and junior high. It was the first time I felt like I'd ever truly heard my own voice. And I was very proud when one was chosen to be read at our graduation ... Even though I still think its a horrible poem.

I was proud to be a speed skater when I was a little kid. It was the first time I ever felt good at anything.

I was proud when I graduated high school. I'd been sick for a lot of my senior year, my mother was far away and I had pathetically little support at home. I was wild and rebellious and very smart and I could very easily have chosen the other fork of that road.

I am proud of the friendships that I chose and have been able to maintain over a couple few decades now. I appreciate that we share the salty and the sweet and I know (Lord, do I know) it has not been easy.

I am proud of the work in my community I chose to do. Working in HIV hospice care, youth advocacy, suicide prevention and various other projects was amazing. It shaped my soul and fed my spirit. I truly did those things selflessly. Those lessons have never left me.

I am proud of the comfort I've found in my own skin and particular flavor of crazy. I like being colorful and I honestly don't know any other way to be.

I'm proud that I raised my hand first and was selected to go to New Orleans directly following Hurricane Katrina and during Hurricane Rita. Those 6 weeks had an extremely profound effect on me socially, personally and professionally.

I'm proud that I went to NYC to pay my respects following 9-11. I needed to be a part of something bigger than myself. I'm also proud that I did what I set out to do and didn't act the fool like a circus spectator like many others I saw there.

I am proud that I would do those things and more again tomorrow in a heartbeat without a second of hesitation.

I'm proud I graduated college. I paid my dues and paid my way and took the really long way to get there. But I did it. And it's mine.

I'm proud that I chose to be well and not to die and that my demons are back in their own bottle that is not on my shelf.

I'm proud that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to live authentically and within my integrity ... Even when it sucks .. Even when I get in trouble for it .. Even when I tragically miss the mark and have to try again and again.

I'm proud that I choose professions that have a direct impact on the community I live in.

I'm proud that I have and will always make room and space for a little bit of everyone in my life.

I'm proud that I'm resilient. Even when I don't want to be.

There are many, many more. Blessedly. Thankfully.

There will be more tomorrow if I choose wisely and treat kindly ... And right the ship when I run aground.